Get the F outta dodge...

So...I made it through my first year in this hell hole without a hurricane. That apparently was luck. This year, within the first month the gulf already had a hurricane that slammed into Florida (obviously missing New Orleans). However, there's another bad boy brewing in the Carribean as I type. Gustav, you're a fucker.

So like everyone else who was traumatized by Katrina (I'm just a wuss), we're all making evac plans. I'm going to travel just outside of the hurricane's path - California. F it man, I'm just going home. See ya, bitches!

Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen

Old jailbait brit...




...and the new bigger and badder Brit sporting a third bewb.

Go Lakeshow!

Ok...so I was REALLY excited about the NBA playoffs this year. With the absurdity of the Western Conference and Boston's amazing record, I could tell it was going to be a good year.

Well...Boston has been a let down, playing down to their opponents. Honestly, those guys are washed up. Doc should be fired. If they got a new coach, it would take them at least a year to get settled into the system. In two years, the team will probably be disbanded...what a shame. It looks like Boston is screwed this year and for the years to come.

And now for the hometown Hornets - goddam I never would have suspected they would destroy the Mavs. Nor did I even guess they would give us a game 7 with the spurs! I honestly don't know who will walk away with the victory, but given how the home teams have been playing this year, I'm hoping the Hornets hit the lakers. Now THAT is a series I'll be glued to. And then when we get an LA-Detroit finals, I'll tune in occasionally just to see LA beat the hell out of detroit. God I hate the pistons.

Anyway, in celebration of LA's stunning victory over the Jazz, I stumbled across an AWESOME picture depicting the jubilation of the lakeshow. It almost warrants an Orange Mocha Frappucino! (For those that don't get it, bite me)

LAWL

Exam time sucks

Sigh...well, the title of this entry just about sums it up. For the last week or two, I've been busting my ass to study up on the new material. We were also supposed to use that time to study for the cumulative finals we have on this upcoming Monday and the following Thursday. Well I didn't. I decided to focus on this new material and just bust my ass for the upcoming finals afterwards. I don't even think I did that well on this last test. Fack me. Ugh.

Anyway...I got some more awesome pictures of New Orleans!

I don't even know what to say about this one other than "wtf"


And this one I got while I was studying for exams. They make some pretty small chairs out here.

So it's been a little while since I've bitched about this place

Maybe my outlook on life has been better since exams are over for now. Or maybe it's because the girlfriend is in town, making our lives easier. Or maybe I've been drinking enough to drown my misery. What ever the reason, there are a few great things going on here!

Several years ago when Mark Cuban just entered the league, I thought he was a minor diety. More owners could use his passion and child-like love for the game and focus on the game rather than making money. It was a welcomed departure from the norm. But after years of his annoying bitching and spaz attacks, I have grown tired of the bajillionaire. Last year, I saw the Warriors close out at home against the Mavs. The look on Dirk No-win-ski's face left me ecstatic. And now this year, my new local team has kicked Dallas to the curb AGAIN. I love it! Unfortunately the Hornets are going to get stomped by San Antonio, but it's been a great run. Btw...Chris Paul is my hero.

On the Dirk note...how many of you guys remember this? What a classic...

...because he's pastay pastay

And I've found a new favorite book...

Here is my favorite recent magazine ad for all you photo nerds out there. And it doesn't even contain nudity. Yeah...I don't know what has happened to me lately either. Anyway, I liked it so much that the ladyfriend even got me a poster of it sent over from Canon UK!

Ok...enough of the positive junk. Now for my regularly scheduled bitching...

Lookie at what I saw when I was walking into the elevator today. So not only are lazy fvcks leaving dog crap in the hallway, they're now leaving shopping carts in my elevator. On top of that, people just leave garbage in the trash room as opposed to throwing it down the chute. PSA to all you lazy aholes: CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT.

Ok...deep breath. This one kinda made me laugh a bit because it could only happen in nola. This tree didn't get knocked over by a drunk driver (for a change). My best guess is that some drunken dillwad was hanging from the tree and then broke it. Given how fat people are here, I'd believe it. And then the tree proceeded to sit there for several days since local government services (like tree-pickup) don't operate 6 out of 7 days of the week.

And everyone knows how much I bitch about how crappy the roads are here. Let me show you what they consider road repair. This hole on a major street was blocked off for the good part of a few weeks for no good reason. Work was done to cut a hole in the ground, but then it took forever and a half to get someone to fill the damn hole in. And when they filled in the hole, they did it over the course of about two weeks. First they laid some concrete down, leaving a 6" deep pothole that proceeded to destroy many-a-car. Then they decided to fill in an oblong hole with a rectangular patch of asphalt, leaving unfilled edges. Over time, the potholes grew and grew. And then finally, they decided to lay asphalt over the ENTIRE hole. WTF is going on with the civil engineers here? Did they fail kindergarten? How the hell can they not know that a square peg doesn't fit in a round hole? Sigh...idiots.

And I guess this is just city life, but I've never seen anyone ticket a FedEx truck.

I guess that's it for now. Off to anger management class...

A romantic picture story

lawl...click to view

Man...I'm beat

The week of hell is just about to start...sigh. Tests on Monday, Wednesday, AND Friday. I can honestly say I've never worked this hard in my life, and I'm STILL not working hard enough. On top of that, the volume of material is just about going to triple next year. Great.

I think I need to figure something out about my work ethic. My entire life I've been able to get away with my intellect. I think I'm generally pretty intelligent, but lazy as all hell. I guess getting through school is going to be a bit more of a struggle than I anticipated. I'm going to have to ditch the ego and figure out how to actually put in the hours. Crap

...

So I have a friend that lives in a pretty rough part of town. He managed to find a GREAT rental house online before moving out to Nola - pretty new, clean, and pretty darn affordable. Deal. He signed the papers and packed his car. When he got here, he discovered that his nice, new home resided in a demolished project. Apparently the city cleared the project out and put up a bunch of track housing. They gave the old project tenants new homes.

If these poor folk wanted to be integrated better into society, establishing them in an relatively nice area would be the first step, right? So one would think that nice new homes in a fresh neighborhood would reduce crime, right? Wrong.

In his first two months in the home, there were nine murders on his block. Nine. 9.
There was a neighborhood resident shot dead on an adjacent lawn. They live next door to a cop. Whenever I drop him off at his place, I make sure it's during the day. And when we roll up to his house, he has his keys in hand ready to make a dash to his front door. It's that kind of neighborhood.

It just saddens and angers me when so many of these people could be helpful contributors to society, but they waste their lives away on the street. The reason for this post was that there was ANOTHER murder on my friend's block just tonight. Why?

Starsucks coffee sucks less now

Here in Alon, we have the crappiest coffee known to man. PJ's coffee is rancid. CC's is horrendous. I really don't understand the fascination with adding chicory to coffee - all it does it make it taste like ass. And don't get me started on "HA! you know what ass tastes like." I do know because I drank that ass-water before. So shut it.

I love Peet's and Blue Bottle and so on, which I have to mail order. Unfortunately, the best coffee around here is Starbucks, which is a testament to how bad the coffee is in this town. Well apparently since Starbucks has been on the decline (they recently canned a BUNCH of employees last month), they're going for a little makeover. In comes Pikes Place Blend. Starbucks USED to have different coffees brewing every day, but I guess this is supposed make the coffee more consistent. The real question is, consistently good or consistently bad?

After much intArweb discussion of Bux's new coffee, I made my way to the establishment and got myself a cup. To my surprise, it still tastes like dilute ass water, but a bit more like coffee. I like my coffee really strong, so I guess I may need to get a few beans and brew some for myself to get a real feeling for how good it is. Nevertheless, it's a step in the right direction.

Just to make this page more visually interesting, I'm stealing a picture from Wallace at www.adecadentexistence.com.

Fat People

So...I was walking down the street with my girlfriend the other day. We pass by the valet of a nice hotel in downtown as a car drives up and opens the door to let the valets do their job. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the real-world incarnate of Jaba the Hut sitting in the drivers seat. Jeez, one thing that always perplexed me about fat people is how they get so damn big in the first place. At some point, you have to realize that you're wider than you are tall - and then you STOP EATING SO DAMN MUCH. How can you claim obesity as a disability when you put the fricken food in your own mouth? It's like me saying procrastination is a disability because I'm too lazy to move. Anyway, I digress.

This lady was so big that the seat was essentially pushed all the way back and her belly was touching the lower portion of the steering wheel. Keep in mind, this lady wasn't driving a well-equipped Chevy Aveo or any sort of car...Jaba here was driving a full size SUV. And she still barely fit in the front seat. Heck, I don't think she could even sit up straight because her gut got in the way. As we continue to walk, I think to myself, "Wow, that lady is fat." Then my girlfriend (bless her soul) blurts out, "Damn, that's a huge bitch."

...and this is why she is my girlfriend.

Only in Nola...

So I took a few of these pictures way back when I first got here, but hell, I figure this is the best avenue to show off my wittiness and how retarded this place is. Nowhere else will you find such accepted drunken retardation, overall ironical-ness, and sheer stupidination-ness. Here goes nothing...

Well...since Alon means more than "Nola backwards" to Korean folk...

I was forced to come up with something else a little clever. That hurt my brain. But after much deliberation, I decided to take on the duty of letting the world know how backwards this place is. This place needs to get a clue...hence the name. Wow, I'm so clever I make almost make myself chuckle. Almost.

I'm new in town from California. I went from hippies to hobos. I don't even know where to start ranting about how upside down/inside out/backwards this place is. The roads, the lazy people, the sheer idiocy, the obesity, blah blah blah. I'll be stuck here for a while in this damn swamp, so I'm sure I'll find plenty of time to bitch and moan.

Anyway, to kick off my blog and honor Alon (New Orleans, ass backwards), I shall post a picture I just took today. To give you a little background, I supposedly live in the "nice" part of New Orleans. Hell, I didn't even know that existed. Anyway, so who the hell in this "nice" part of town LEAVES DOG CRAP IN THE HALLWAY OF THE CONDO COMPLEX?! I love dogs, but I hate poo. If you own a dog...pick up his crap!!

I'll say it once, and I'm sure I'll say it a million more times. "Only in Nola..."

Photographic proof of the hallway turd...