A romantic picture story

lawl...click to view

Man...I'm beat

The week of hell is just about to start...sigh. Tests on Monday, Wednesday, AND Friday. I can honestly say I've never worked this hard in my life, and I'm STILL not working hard enough. On top of that, the volume of material is just about going to triple next year. Great.

I think I need to figure something out about my work ethic. My entire life I've been able to get away with my intellect. I think I'm generally pretty intelligent, but lazy as all hell. I guess getting through school is going to be a bit more of a struggle than I anticipated. I'm going to have to ditch the ego and figure out how to actually put in the hours. Crap

...

So I have a friend that lives in a pretty rough part of town. He managed to find a GREAT rental house online before moving out to Nola - pretty new, clean, and pretty darn affordable. Deal. He signed the papers and packed his car. When he got here, he discovered that his nice, new home resided in a demolished project. Apparently the city cleared the project out and put up a bunch of track housing. They gave the old project tenants new homes.

If these poor folk wanted to be integrated better into society, establishing them in an relatively nice area would be the first step, right? So one would think that nice new homes in a fresh neighborhood would reduce crime, right? Wrong.

In his first two months in the home, there were nine murders on his block. Nine. 9.
There was a neighborhood resident shot dead on an adjacent lawn. They live next door to a cop. Whenever I drop him off at his place, I make sure it's during the day. And when we roll up to his house, he has his keys in hand ready to make a dash to his front door. It's that kind of neighborhood.

It just saddens and angers me when so many of these people could be helpful contributors to society, but they waste their lives away on the street. The reason for this post was that there was ANOTHER murder on my friend's block just tonight. Why?

Starsucks coffee sucks less now

Here in Alon, we have the crappiest coffee known to man. PJ's coffee is rancid. CC's is horrendous. I really don't understand the fascination with adding chicory to coffee - all it does it make it taste like ass. And don't get me started on "HA! you know what ass tastes like." I do know because I drank that ass-water before. So shut it.

I love Peet's and Blue Bottle and so on, which I have to mail order. Unfortunately, the best coffee around here is Starbucks, which is a testament to how bad the coffee is in this town. Well apparently since Starbucks has been on the decline (they recently canned a BUNCH of employees last month), they're going for a little makeover. In comes Pikes Place Blend. Starbucks USED to have different coffees brewing every day, but I guess this is supposed make the coffee more consistent. The real question is, consistently good or consistently bad?

After much intArweb discussion of Bux's new coffee, I made my way to the establishment and got myself a cup. To my surprise, it still tastes like dilute ass water, but a bit more like coffee. I like my coffee really strong, so I guess I may need to get a few beans and brew some for myself to get a real feeling for how good it is. Nevertheless, it's a step in the right direction.

Just to make this page more visually interesting, I'm stealing a picture from Wallace at www.adecadentexistence.com.

Fat People

So...I was walking down the street with my girlfriend the other day. We pass by the valet of a nice hotel in downtown as a car drives up and opens the door to let the valets do their job. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the real-world incarnate of Jaba the Hut sitting in the drivers seat. Jeez, one thing that always perplexed me about fat people is how they get so damn big in the first place. At some point, you have to realize that you're wider than you are tall - and then you STOP EATING SO DAMN MUCH. How can you claim obesity as a disability when you put the fricken food in your own mouth? It's like me saying procrastination is a disability because I'm too lazy to move. Anyway, I digress.

This lady was so big that the seat was essentially pushed all the way back and her belly was touching the lower portion of the steering wheel. Keep in mind, this lady wasn't driving a well-equipped Chevy Aveo or any sort of car...Jaba here was driving a full size SUV. And she still barely fit in the front seat. Heck, I don't think she could even sit up straight because her gut got in the way. As we continue to walk, I think to myself, "Wow, that lady is fat." Then my girlfriend (bless her soul) blurts out, "Damn, that's a huge bitch."

...and this is why she is my girlfriend.

Only in Nola...

So I took a few of these pictures way back when I first got here, but hell, I figure this is the best avenue to show off my wittiness and how retarded this place is. Nowhere else will you find such accepted drunken retardation, overall ironical-ness, and sheer stupidination-ness. Here goes nothing...

Well...since Alon means more than "Nola backwards" to Korean folk...

I was forced to come up with something else a little clever. That hurt my brain. But after much deliberation, I decided to take on the duty of letting the world know how backwards this place is. This place needs to get a clue...hence the name. Wow, I'm so clever I make almost make myself chuckle. Almost.

I'm new in town from California. I went from hippies to hobos. I don't even know where to start ranting about how upside down/inside out/backwards this place is. The roads, the lazy people, the sheer idiocy, the obesity, blah blah blah. I'll be stuck here for a while in this damn swamp, so I'm sure I'll find plenty of time to bitch and moan.

Anyway, to kick off my blog and honor Alon (New Orleans, ass backwards), I shall post a picture I just took today. To give you a little background, I supposedly live in the "nice" part of New Orleans. Hell, I didn't even know that existed. Anyway, so who the hell in this "nice" part of town LEAVES DOG CRAP IN THE HALLWAY OF THE CONDO COMPLEX?! I love dogs, but I hate poo. If you own a dog...pick up his crap!!

I'll say it once, and I'm sure I'll say it a million more times. "Only in Nola..."

Photographic proof of the hallway turd...